I realized that I cannot work to satisfy people, I’ll work myself to death.

I had my third evaluation today. It sucked. I realized no matter how hard I try or give, there are always demands on me. I can try to be close to people and try to show concern when I know they are not coping well. But they will come back to say that I am too nosey or I am pestering them. I can try to be understanding and be open to ideas, but there would be those who think I am too soft and unassertive. I can try to be a friend, but it seems that people don’t seem to accept me as a friend but a nosey and untrusting boss.

我觉得非常的委屈，毕竟我也付出了不少。但是我不能认输，因为你还没有认输。

talked more trash @ 3:13:00 AM

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It’s another of those big spending days for me yesterday. I spent over $200++ in a day. If only the money can come in as easily as it goes out from my pocket…

*

This is my second consecutive night walking on the road in the middle of the night with you. Will there be a third?

talked more trash @ 7:08:00 AM

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一整个晚上陪你吃饭，聊天；从Wisma一路聊到 Police Academy, 再送你回家，然后再你家楼下的泳池边继续聊，整晚都在谈我们在公事上的点滴。路上你突然问我我有什么关于你的事想告诉你，我却久久提不起勇气说出那简单却复杂的几个字。

I have a problem with you: I like you but you won’t want to know it now.

talked more trash @ 3:53:00 AM

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This morning at 4.00am, a group of PRC students barged into room *-*** (kept in confidence to protect the victims involved)in NTU Hall of Residence 4, making a din of the night. They are the friends of the new resident who just touched down in Singapore. The other occupant was shocked awake and was left stunned as the group made themselves comfortable at home. The din continued until 5.00am when the new resident decided to take a nap. He left the room at 8.00 am in the morning, leaving behind an unlocked door, a sleeping roommate and electronic equipment with an estimated cost of $5k (belonging to the roommate). No property was lost and no one was injured in this incident. Further updates will be provided when available.

talked more trash @ 12:31:00 PM

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Whee... it was fun yesterday @ club momo... nice songs presented by the CAC bands, lots of headbanging... and lots of happy faces...

talked more trash @ 12:22:00 PM

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You might wonder why I don’t want to let you know my blog address. It’s because I am going to put some things here that you might not be ready to accept. I’ll let you find out for yourself later, probably after everything is over.

talked more trash @ 8:44:00 PM

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I received a year end bonus for being a son to buy clothes, and since I was free, I went on a shopping spree with Kawai. I had no plans of what to buy, but only know that I am buying some gifts for Christmas and also some additions to my wardrobe.

Some things happened during the trip which spoilt my mood. We were at Far East Plaza looking for some street wear when we came across this shop on the 2nd level selling men’s wear. I tried on some pieces and chose one which I asked to be left at the counter while I look around for another piece. The boss seemed rather impatient that I am not paying for the piece yet and used a rather displeased tone to talk to me, his every word hinting that we cannot afford his clothes and that we are too picky. We couldn’t take it and left that bloody shop. No wonder we were the only customers. They are so FUCKING rude!

When we went to Heerens, I received 5-6 calls asking me to do stuff. It is my own day off for goodness sake! It seems like I have to throw my phone away to get a break.

I finally bought a knitted shirt and found a new fave shop in Paragon. Will definitely go there when I get my funds back.

talked more trash @ 8:39:00 PM

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Today is the day of the performance that we have been preparing for since I’ve agreed to pick the project up since October. It had been the source of headaches, morning calls. However, it is also through this project that I knew Ruiting, Jingyi, Curtiz, Zhang Ji and members of the club and also from my dearest Exco better.

I must say for the 1 year plus I spent with the club, this project is by far the most challenging I have ever seen. Given the lack of time, the lack of manpower, last minute requests, and various other HR problems, it is no wonder that I had so many sleepless nights over this project. There are moments of joy, moments of disappointment; moments of shock and moments of surprise. As a team, the hundred of us, especially the committee worked hard, trying hard to accommodate to requests and planning to make sure the event is a successful one. I must say that we have come through all of these together and emerged with a stronger bond.

To all of us who put in our heart and soul for this, I would like to congratulate you on the job well done. You’ll savor the sweet fruit of your success at the end of it all. As for those of us who made sacrifices to prepare for this: your sacrifices will not be in vain when you hear the SM and the entourage of VIPs praise your performance. And lastly for those who did not feel as attached to the project, I would still like to thank you for the time you put in.

Finally to myself:
You have done all you can. Let the show begin.

talked more trash @ 6:25:00 AM

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I have decided. I’ll put up with all the nonsense and let the nonsense deal with themselves.

What a great day.

talked more trash @ 12:10:00 PM

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I have stopped blogging for the same reason I stopped myself from doing so in the past.

There are people and there are people. There are people who claim that they know you inside out and jump to conclusions about you and what you do. There are those who pretend to care and try to get something out of you. There are those who would simply smirk at your ability to move mountains. There are also those who are waiting for fruit trees to grow themselves and expect the fruits immediately. There are people who can promise you the moon and give you nothing in return. There are also those who breathe down your neck for things that you do not give a fuck. There are people who talk about changes as if they can save the world from damnation, but do nothing to realise it. There are those who simply do not care.

I work day in and out and waste my days amongst these people when I could have spent them on people who are more deserving of my attention. This is how interesting my holidays are.

talked more trash @ 9:14:00 PM

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2 weeks never touch my blog already. It’s collecting dust!!!

I have succumbed myself to doing a lot a lot a lot of work. Sigh… Didn’t really get much time to meet up with friends. Did have some mahjong, a chalet, and a few shopping trips though.

The following weeks are gonna be just as tiring. I am already not very good looking… the work is putting eyebags on my face and taking away the meat from my cheeks. Within a year, I will become so haggard that no one will recognize me anymore… I should really start doing something now…

Christmas is round the corner, time to start a wish list. I think I had been a good boy this year… so I guess Santa’s gonna be generous. Let’s start small:

Christmas 2005 wishlist:

1. G-shock watch for running


2. A good looking silk tie


3. A Crumpler bag


4. A 14” TV for me to watch in my room


5. A pair of running shoes from Asics


6. A set of running attire from adidas


7. A pair of Levis


8. An I-pod


9. A Canon Ixus-slim


10. A car key to an RX-7.

    

talked more trash @ 12:43:00 AM

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